


Leaving Handprints

by Bhishak



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Anxiety, Be careful if you are easily triggered, Colored Handprints, Depression, Happy Ending, M/M, Modern soulmate Au, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21797515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bhishak/pseuds/Bhishak
Summary: Through our evolution we adapted the ability to find our soulmate through a natural phenomenon. When a soulmate touches your bare skin they leave a different colored handprint in each area they touch.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, John Laurens/Alexander Hamilton
Comments: 3
Kudos: 172





	Leaving Handprints

Human evolution is fascinating. The way certain aspects came into existence and stayed because it helped us move forward as a species is beyond mind-boggling. As human beings, it's a lot easier to get through life with someone, that’s how soulmates came to be apart of our evolution.

Whenever your soulmate touches your bare skin, they leave a different colored handprint in the area they felt. It stays for a few hours before it eventually fades away. For decades, the science behind how it works has been studied, but no one knows how it came to be. All we know is this phenomenon makes it easier to find each other. The only catch to it is it doesn’t go into effect until both party’s reach twenty years old.

John Laurens turned twenty on October 28th, and ever since then, he’s been in a constant state of anxiety. Sure he was excited to have the ability to find his soulmate; yet, it’s just. The fact that someone out there would truly love him for who he is is hard to believe. At least to him, that is. Every time he looked in the mirror, all he saw was a walking mess of freckles. To his eye, they littered his skin from his face to his feet. It’s always bothered him even from a very young age. His curly hair wasn’t much better; taking care of it was pure hell. Finding curl friendly shampoo/conditioner was near impossible, and regular combs broke after a couple uses.

All in all, Laurens had a long list of things he couldn’t stand about himself. Which he kept well hidden from his friends, lord knows he doesn’t want to burden them with such little problems. Speaking of his friends, the whole crew was getting together to celebrate Hamilton’s birthday a day early at a local cafe.

Laurens sighed as he finished wrapping his gift, today felt a little heavier than usual. Looking out the window, he noticed it started to snow, which didn’t help his mood one bit. If anything, it made it harder for him to will himself to go out at all. Closing his eyes, he took a few deep breaths before getting out of his chair. Biting his lip out of anxious habit, he started to get ready to leave his parent's house. After grabbing a scarf, he headed out the door and towards the Cafe.

Pulling up in his old rickety car, he took a quick peek inside the windows. Squinting, he saw Lafayette and Hercules having what looked to be a heated debate with Burr. A small smile snuck across his face as he shut off his car. Shaking his head, he wrapped his scarf high enough to cover part of his face before heading inside.

Just as he walked in, he felt someone slam into him, causing him to almost lose his balance. Looking down, he became extremely aware of how close Hamilton's face was to his own, causing him to freeze. For a brief moment, he couldn’t take his eyes away from the other's lips; a part of him wished he could lean down and-. Seeing a hand waving in front of his eyes, he heard Hamilton whistle, “Earth to John Laurens, are you there?”

Shaking the ridiculous thoughts out of his head, he pulled down his scarf far enough to show a well-practiced smile as he forced a laugh. “Yeah, Sorry. Guess I left for a second, happy early birthday, by the way.”

“Thanks.” Hamilton tried his best to hide his concern, but some of it leaked out as he asked,” You uh, wanna get some coffee?”

Nodding, they both went and ordered their drinks. They joined the others, which lead to a night full of jokes and stories as they enjoyed each other’s company. For a moment, Laurens felt content; he eventually slipped the scarf off at some point during the party.

Gifts were exchanged towards the end. Hercules got Hamilton a mini sewing kit with the promise to give him lessons. Lafayette gave him a basket of various ramen; he claimed it was the best gift a college student could give to another. While Burr had gotten him new inks for his feather quill. It then came to be Laurens turn who sheepishly handed over his gift. Opening it, Hamiltons smile brightened the room as he pulled out bags of his favorite candy along with leather-bound notebooks he could use to write his little stories in. This night was turning out better then Laurens initially thought it would.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and the cafe had to shut down for the night. As they broke apart and each left, it dwindled to just Hamilton and Laurens standing in the cold crisp night.

Looking up from his phone Hamilton hesitated for a moment before asking,” You mind if I catch a ride with you, I guess my dad got himself stuck in the driveway.”

Laurens couldn’t help the snicker that escaped,” The great George Washington can’t get out of his driveway.” Shaking his head, they both ended up giggle as they walked up to his car. “Allow me to get the door for you.”

Surprised, Hamilton tried his best to hide the blush that crept across his cheeks,” Oh, uh, thank you.” Sliding into the car, he got comfortable before seat belting himself in.

Shortly after leaving the parking lot, Laurens glanced over and noticed Hamilton nervously fiddling with his hands. A sense of concern started to flood his nerves, so he awkwardly cleared his throat.”So uh, you ready for tomorrow?”

“I suppose,” Hamilton answered as he scratched the back of his neck. Pieces of his hair fell loosely out of what appeared to be a quickly made bun as he shifted in his seat.

A ping of familiarity in those words hit Laurens, so he took a different turn confusing Hamilton. “Where we going?”

“I thought we could; I don’t know, drive a little more before I drop you off.”

Smiling, Hamilton relaxed,” I’d like that.”

They fell into a comfortable silence as street lights lit their faces as they drove along. It was a quiet night, only a few other cars out and about. The snow outside was gentle and light as it fell from the dark blue sky. They drove for a while, taking a few side streets here and there until they took a quick detour into the country.

The fields were covered with undisturbed snow for miles. Some of the fields still had large rolls of hay stuck out in various places. While others had freshly harvested corn stalks sticking out of the ground still. It was always peaceful out here, yet deep down, something didn’t quite feel right. Risking a glance, Laurens felt his heart fall as he saw the frown Hamilton wore as he watched the fields pass by. Looking back at the road, he asked,” You okay?”

Jumping slightly, Hamilton mumbled, “Huh, oh uh yeah.”

“You can talk to me; you know that, right?”

Hamilton stayed quiet, starting to fiddle with his hands again as he watched the clock displayed on the dashboard. The time had read 11:30 pm by the time they made it back to town. Sighing, he asked,” You mind pulling over for a moment before you drop me off?” Nodding Laurens pulled into the closest parking lot. They sat there for a moment, both unsure how to continue the conversation.

Hamilton finally worked up the nerve to ask a question that had been bothering him for a while, but he couldn’t quite make eye contact. Looking down at his lap, he muttered,” Do you ever get-,” sighing he rubbed his face out of frustration,” this is stupid, I know, but I gotta ask. Do you ever get nervous to....touch, anyone? Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t shake the feeling that tomorrow brings. My whole life gives high fives, hugs, really doing anything that involves actual human contact seemed perfectly normal. But now that I’m turning twenty, I can’t help but feel,” gesturing wildly with his hands; Hamilton spat,” Weird, I guess, I don’t know how else to explain it.”

Taking in what he said, Laurens couldn’t help the laugh that left him; it filled the car as he grabbed his sides. Tears started to fall down his reddish cheeks; he began to gasp for breath in between bursts of laughter.

Hamilton, on the other hand, didn’t see what was funny at all. “Why's it so funny?!” Growing even more frustrated, he felt his cheeks grow red with embarrassment,” Laurens, I swear to god if you don’t stop laughing, I’ll....I’ll....“ The anger quickly left Hamilton as he heard Laurens's laughter change into a choking cry as he buried his face deep into his scarf.

Reaching over Hamilton rested a hand on Laurens's shoulder, as it shook under his touch, he gently pulled him into a tight hug.”Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Please talk to me.” Pulling him closer, Laurens hung onto him like he was his only connection to this world. Hamilton started to rub small soothing circles up and down the others back as they swayed back and forth from side to side. “Breath with me, buddy, in and out,” copying his own words, they both did the exercise; eventually, Laurens calmed down enough that his body stopped shaking. They hung onto each other for what felt like hours.

Eventually, Laurens pulled away as he whipped his eyes, his voice hitched slightly while he spoke,” S-Sorry about t-that.”

Rubbing his eyes, Hamilton noticed his face was damp with tears of his own,” It’s okay.”

Shaking his head, Laurens felt a sarcastic giggle rise out of his chest,” It’s not though, it’s really not.”

“What do you mean?”

Looking over with a deep pain filling his eyes, Laurens leaned back in his seat with a small smile,” I understand where you're coming from. Ever since my birthday a few months ago, I’ve been terrified to touch anyone.”

Laurens radiated more pain then Hamilton’s ever seen, it made his chest hurt with a heart-wrenching ache. Leaning back himself, Hamilton looked him up and down with concern,” Why?”

Huffing with defeat, Laurens made a small gesture towards himself,” Look at me.”

Confused Hamilton tilted his head, for once, he wasn’t sure what to say.

Anger started to bubble it’s way out of Laurens, as fresh tears fell from his eyes.“I mean, really look at me. I’m littered with thousands of freckles like some freak of nature,” grabbing the hair tie he pulled it out, causing his hair to fluff out,” my hair is like some tangled, untamable mane. I hate the color of my eyes, their the same color as to how I feel, straight up mud mixed with a shit ton of trash. No one in their right mind could ever love me-” Hamilton pulled him into a rough kiss, completely shutting him up as he soon found himself returning it with equal enthusiasm. His fingers ran through Hamilton’s hair and down his neck, holding him close as they fought for control.

Both were eventually needing air Hamilton shoved Laurens hard enough his back hit the door behind him. At the top of his lungs, he screamed,” DON’T YOU EVER SPEAK OF YOURSELF IN THAT MANNER EVER AGAIN. YOU HEAR ME!! YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING I HAVE EVER MET. THOSE FRECKLES YOU HATE SO MUCH I FIND ADORABLE. IT’S LIKE THE STARS THEMSELVES COVER YOUR SKIN.” Taking a deep breath, he leaned against the door,” And your hair is so soft, it bounces when you get excited about literally anything it’s so cute. Your eyes remind me of a forest that I happily get lost in.” Pointing menacingly, Hamilton eyed Laurens,” That's right, you heard me, I love your goddamn eyes. Jesus Christ, your fucking UNBELIEVABLE, you know that?!”

Laurens just stared at him, unable to move or talk.

Breathing heavily, Hamilton raised his arms, “Got anything to say?!”

Blinking slowly, Laurens pointed at Hamilton's face and then his own.

Confused Hamilton rubbed away the tears that had started to fill his eyes,” What?” he asked. Looking closer, he noticed Lauren's face was covered with pink, light blue, yellow, and white handprints. Quickly pulling down the passenger sun visor mirror Hamilton frozen. Red, orange, purple, and green handprints covered his cheeks and neck,” Oh,” he whispered.

A giggle started to rise out of Laurens chest as he held his face in his hands, Hamilton followed soon after. Both holding onto themselves a few feet apart. Sinking back further, Laurens back pressed harshly against the door. ”I’m such an idiot,” he whimpered, biting his lip.

Climbing over, Hamilton pulled Laurens's hands away from his face,” No, your not,” he whispered. Leaning over, he pulled him into a hug, resting his face against the others’ shoulder. “You know, when I get home it’s gonna be hard to explain to my parents why I suddenly have handprints all over my face.”

A bust of genuine laughter left Laurens as he rested his chin against the others head.”Same here.” Holding Hamilton in his arms felt so right, lord knows he’s wanted to for so long. He didn’t even realize he had closed his eyes until the all to loud ringtone interrupted their nice moment.

Smiling Hamilton pulled away to grab his phone,“Speaking of which, I think, that's them calling.”

A strange feeling started to blossom in Laurens chest as he watched Hamilton talk on the phone. Resting a hand over his heart he started to smile, it felt warm, like a summer breeze during a calm night. Maybe it was happiness.


End file.
